Our new office in Downtown Los Angeles is only a few miles from our old office in Hollywood. At that location you didn’t have to dress very nice.
I was pretty certain, that I wouldn’t be allowed into the fancy new building, dressed like the schlub I normally look like, so I tucked in my shirt and wore fancy shoes.
When I got here, I told them my name, they gave me a parking pass, and there were not any problems. Everyone in the office was dressed they way they normally would, except Brett, Ellen and Jason who dressed like the cast of Mad Men (because they film it here.) Brett gives John a tour of our beautiful new locale.
Everybody knows that the internet has a bacon fetish. It’s one of the tastiest animal products, but as my friend the nutritionist says: “I love the smell of bacon in the morning. It smells like obesity.” Some think this trend is coming to an end, but I’m not so sure. And that is what sparked this work of meme historical fiction.
Bacon had retained it’s grip over the internet for years. In the early days it seemed like a new bacon blog popped up every other day. Then on a fateful late summer morning, the New York Times released an article that changed everything. “It’s Hip to Be Round” claimed to show a new trend: male hipsters showing off their pot bellies. The moment this article hit the blogstands, the face of bacon as we know it.
Within hours hipsters around the world were mobilized. From the lofts of Williamsburg to the warehouses of Hackney emanded a change.
Historians time the start of the backlash to the destruction by looting and firebombing of the Brooklyn “offices” of popular “blog” This is why you’re fat. The rage of the thin was not to be contained just to that, the offices of Tumblr itself were next and authorities just barely rescued company founder David Karp from a slow herb-roasting in a health-conscious man-sized George Foreman Grill.
Within days, cooler heads prevailed, with such calming voices as writer Michael Pollan’s eventually drowning out the bloodthirsty (most notably Jonathan Safran Foer who famously called for Americans to “Burn down your McDonalds, Tear apart your Wendys, Rip your Arby’s limb from pork-y limb…”). Pollan suggested that of all the high fat items to be singled out, perhaps bacon was the worst offender, and could be replaced. He suggested quinoa, a largely unheard-of grain.
Quinoanaise became a popular product for so-called “quinoatarians”
Within weeks items such as quinoa and eggs, quinoa cheese (veggie) burgers, and even the late night snack quinoa-wrapped hot dogs were available nationwide in great abundance. It was only perhaps six months later that a book deal was announced for popular FriendFeed account This is Why You’re Thin which featured many pieces of what the nutritiono-blogosphere termed “quinoaporn”.
This started off as the scariest Halloween that I’ve ever experienced. I’m not scared of very many things. This is a list of things that scare me:
Sharks
MS-13
Sharks are carnivorous sea creatures. MS-13 is a Salvadorian street gang. Both are known for savage murder. I wasn’t near the ocean, so fear number one was not a concern. Fear number two became a concern, when I found out where the Halloween party was.
The party was at a historic hotel next to MacArthur Park. I knew the park for its lake, and gang-related drug warfare. After finding hearing the location of the party, I developed a plan to avoid all trouble. Run up Alvarado, to Sixth, and dash into the party, without getting murdered. Easy-peasy. But things changed when we were invited to pre-party on Alvarado and 11th.
Alvarado and 11th is the heart of MS-13 territory!
That’s cool. I hope that similar litigation can come into play with the Scientologists in Los Angeles. I’m not talking about their potentially shady business practices, or predatory practices on non-English speakers. I’m talking about a traffic light.
I live in the Scientology district of Hollywood. Everyday I drive home down Fountain, right behind the church’s huge complex. There is always traffic when Fountain crosses L Ron Hubbard Way. It backs up traffic for like three blocks. I think that semaphore was illegally placed by the Church, to make people stop and consider taking a stress test.
The problem has gotten so bad, I had to find a shortcut. I go two blocks out of my way to avoid the hold up in front of the Scientology center. Let’s do something about it!
It references an event from November 2007. At the Ibero-American summit, Hugo Chavez interrupted José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero, the Spanish prime minister. Then Juan Carlos, King of Spain, leaned forward, turned towards Chávez, and said “¿Por qué no te callas?”
This outburst was well received in sectors of Ibero-America, especially by those who feel that Chavismo is too radical. This video quickly became viral, and prompted several notable versions. (My favorite one is the Reggaeton style.) The phrase “¿Por qué no te callas?” was emblazoned on t-shirts, and even became a popular ringtone.
The above picture connects this meme to the meme-of-the-week. In a sort of cosmic revenge, the new interrupter, is interrupting the old interrupter.
This anti-Chavez imagery speaks to something the socio-political position that these Venezuelan tumblrs hold. In a nation like Venezuela there is vast disparity between the rich and the poor. Chavez’s objective to redistribute wealth is something that affluent people are not excited about. (Along with general distaste for Chavez’s pushes for lifelong autocracy.)
I think we (the meme-o-sphere) see so much opposition to Hugo Chavez, because many of his supporters often don’t have access to the internet. You probably don’t have time for funny internet videos, when you live in the slums of Caracas.
If you drive north from Los Angeles, you’ll pass Six Flags Magic Mountain. I always think of the intro to the 90s sitcom Step By Step, because they filmed the intro there. I’m thinking about this now, because the producers of the show superimposed a lake over the parking lot.
That was mega-movie-magic, this is nature’s take on compositing.
A notable taco truck in the Echo Park neighborhood of Los Angeles was attacked Friday night. Assailants threw Molotov cocktails at Taco Zone on Alvarado. The motive remains a mystery. It could be rival taqueros, gangs, or a hate crime. Nobody was hurt in the attack, but the truck was damaged.
The truck, was frequented by hipsters and a subsequent benefit show, with indie rockers The Mae Shi is planned for this Friday.
his isn’t funny, because that is a fine taco truck. But it’s one of those like so unexpected that’s funny things.
Hello internet. I’ve just moved to Los Angeles to work from Current’s offices. If there wasn’t a building in front of me I could probably see the Hollywood sign. My desk is in the offices of SuperNews!! (I added an extra exclamation point, because I’m excited!)
