It’s finally hump day, and the Black Eyed Peas released a new album this week, so that means it’s time for a few of my favorite things Fergie has humped in her videos.
Luggage
A lot people enter a relationship with baggage from people or things they have humped, but only the select few come with baggage that they have actually humped.
A Buckingham Palace Guard
There’s a rule that says Buckingham Palace guards aren’t supposed to smile, but it’s probably a moot point, because I wouldn’t smile either if Fergie was soiling a perfectly good pair of my trousers.
A Couch
The remarkable thing about this shot is that Fergie is humping a full couch while all her other dancers can only handle humping chairs. That’s why she’s the Duchess.
Her Shadow
There are few things that can hump back with the same vigor, intensity, and viruses as Fergie. Her shadow is one of them.
A 2004 Chevy S-10 Lowrider
It costs an extra $500,000 for Fergie to hump the product placement. Now, that’s the Heartbeat of America.
An Exercise Bike
The easy joke to do here would be “Fergie’s the town bicycle—everyone’s had a ride,” but instead, I’ll modify it to say, “Fergie’s the town stationary bicycle. Everyone’s had a ride, but she’s not going anywhere.”
Her Cake
Sure, you can have your cake and hump it too, but clearly no one’s going to eat the cake now that Fergie has humped it.
A Kaleidoscope
Don’t ask for the details.
Her Dignity
You can’t see it, and it’s probably the smallest thing Fergie’s ever humped, but right there, she is humping her dignity away. Dancin’ in your underpants, up on a table at a fancy luncheon with respectable people trying to enjoy a meal. It’s one thing to “hump around,” Fergie, but show some class at the dinner table, we brought out the nice silver.
The Master Control Program
Suck it Dillinger, Fergie just humped your precious MCP to death, and Flynn, Rom, and Tron totally just escaped the ENCOM mainframe.
If you’d like to see some more humping, here are a few of my favorite things Lady Gaga, Peaches, and Marilyn Manson have humped.
May 27th, 2009 at 6:51 pm
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