A lot happened in “Michael Jackson Dies ’09 Live!” over the weekend, and since it was a holiday and you may have missed a couple of episodes, I’ve pulled together a character catch-up to make sure you’re prepped for this week’s plot lines.
Joe Jackson: acted like an asshole.
Katherine Jackson: prayed for the strength to continue being the normal one.
Al Sharpton: said something outrageous and spurious.
Jesse Jackson: “Awful. Painful. Mournful. Remorseful. Bucketful. Propofol.”
Dr. (or is it Mr?) Conrad Murray: laid low, wondered if he “looked high.”
Michael: still dead.
Will, the: prepped for court.
The Doctor’s Lawyer’s Public Relations Chief: proved something shifty is up, by his mere existence.
Debbie Rowe: lashed out at paparazzi at a Chinese restaurant screaming “Are you ready to have your butt kicked? Don’t fucking touch me,” ordered orange chicken.
Autopsy Report: still MIA, should reappear in a late week episode. SPOILER ALERT: it’s fucked up.
Tickets for the Memorial: now available on ebay for up to 10,000 poorly planned, out of touch with reality, dollars.
Sarah Palin: used the tragedy to her benefit, even more than Joe Jackson.
July 22nd, 2009 at 7:48 am
all of my friends are Michael Jackson fans, we would really miss the King of Pop.