I was on cnn.com this morning, sharing the joys of the Fruit Bats and debating the merits and relevance of Madonna. Part way through my review of The Ruminant Band, my audio froze and my video pixilated as if I was reporting from the front lines of the first Gulf War, so I just kept yammering and next thing I knew we were talking about Madonna.
Here are my liner notes to the segment, because I’m not sure which parts actually made it through the control room.
Fruit Bats “The Ruminant Band”
I’m calling this the happiest album of the year—hands down. It’s not annoyingly happy in the “rainbows, unicorns, and ice cream cones!” kind of way, but the music is bright and the lyrics don’t shy away from embracing joy and the good parts of life. Trust me, I love the dark, brooding, functioning alcoholic who writes about the world’s problems from a barstool as much as anybody, but enough already. You don’t have to wear a black t-shirt everyday to be cool. I get it—you’re dark, mysterious, and non-conformist, just like the 500 guys in line behind you.
Simply put, I love this album. For one thing, it’s an album, not merely a CD. The driving force behind the Fruit Bats is Eric D. Johnson (he’s also a recent addition to the Shins), but clearly a lot of credit on this one also has to go to drummer Graeme Gibson, who produced it. If you’ve ever wondered what people mean when they talk about the art of producing and engineering an album and how it all peaked in the ’70s, check this one out. It’s masterfully done.
I can’t remember coming across an album in the past decade that is so conscious of its sonic soundscape, but doesn’t rely on distorted noise and effects to fill it. Instead, an acoustic guitar falls right into place over your left ear, a Wurlitzer slowly boils up from below you, or the pedal steal has you chasing the bridge around the room. It’s amazing. The vocal harmonies are beautifully and placed with restraint. Most producers who have elements like these would just go nuts and over use them, but these guys got it right.
The music is seeped in late ’60s/early ’70s heritage and awareness, but it never over-treads on a single influence and thus remains completely original and new. If you don’t want to buy into the mainstream, but are getting sick of all the morose, dark, grumbling poet-singers who only find fault in the world, this is for you. And it’s also for your mom. Really. Anyone can enjoy this one.
Stream it here, then go buy it, and a get new stereo to listen to it on.
Madonna “Celebration”
The question here isn’t, “has Madonna ever done anything good?” Clearly she has. I liked “A League of their Own” a lot. Penny Marshall is awesome. But the question here is, “is Madonna’s upcoming, 7th greatest hits album ‘Celebration’ the most self-serving, unoriginal piece of shit that uses her fans as pawns?” And the answer is a resounding “yes.”
The inaptly named “Celebration” comes out September 29th. Don’t mark your calendars. It’s just a repackaging of the same old crap that’s available on 14 other Madonna CDs. Plus Madge phoned in vocals for two new tracks that represent Paul Oakenfold’s greatest attempt at assassination since he worked with U2 in the Zooropa years. This is what we call an obligatory album. Madonna’s contract with Warner required her to release one more album before she could leave and start her even more lucrative, 360 deal with Live Nation.
I’m sure somewhere in an attorney’s office at Warner Brothers there is a legal definition for what constitutes a new album, and this refurbished turd bucket meets the absolute bare minimum requirements, and thus, it exists.
I do realize that if you are in the cult of Madonna, two new songs from her are a total Mitzvah, no matter how much worse they are than her entire, well-worn, over-sexed body of work. And to be fair, if you’ve ever blasted a line of ecstasy with one nostril while hovering a rail of meth with the other at the same time in a dance club bathroom stall, you may well like these two songs.
If you’re into classic Madonna, you deserve better than this clubby test run of Autotune. If after this you’re still looking for something new, go buy everything released by Janelle Monae and Lykke Li.
