In other releases: Street Sweeper, Old Man Pie, and…the Jonas Brothers
I was on cnn.com/live again this morning talking about new releases and trying not to dissolve into a fit of cuss words and obscene gestures when we talked about the Jonas Brothers.
Here’s a quick run down of the new albums we covered:
Jonas Brothers “Lines, Vines, and Trying Times”
Seriously? I mean, really. Another f@ckin’ Jonas album?!? I’m so damn sick of 14 year-old girls running the entertainment industry with their allowance money. We all know Hughie, Dewey and Louie suck, so I’ll keep this short by rebutting the three main arguments adults with the minds of children make for the Jonas Brothers.
1). They write their own lyrics. F@ck you they shouldn’t! These lyrics sound like they just copy and pasted from your little sister’s Twitter account. One song compares a teenage breakup to World War III and another compares it to a NASCAR race. Well which is it—the largest and most deadly war this world has ever seen leading to the annihilation of the Earth, or a series of high speed left turns? They don’t write their own lyrics, they wrong their own lyrics. At least the Monkees hired Neil Diamond to write a few great songs for them.
2). They play their own instruments. F@ck you they don’t. They hold their own instruments while about 25 of the world’s most skilled studio musicians play behind them.
3). But they’re like little Stevie Wonder or the early Beatles! That’s it. [I stab this person in the neck.]
Street Sweeper Social Club “Street Sweeper Social Club”
Badass! This is Tom Morello, Boots Riley, and Stanton Moore knocking you on your ass with skull shattering guitar riffs, smooth, sly and satirical verses, and spot-on, tight ass drumming.
If you’ve been waiting for Morello to return to his monstrous guitar licks and political agenda in the same album, your time has come. This album rages against the machine that built the machine, but is a bit more lyrically subtle about it than Zach de la Rocha generally was. One second you think you’re listening to a song about a party, then the next second you realize that Boots just called for the beheading of a Wall Street exec. Listen to it for free here, read the lyrics here, and then buy it here.
Get more about Tom Morello at Current.com.
Old Man Pie “Old Man Pie”
Old Man Pie describe themselves as “anti-folk, Americana, and pie music.” Pie music? Yes, please. British Americana? Why the hell not. We’ve churned out enough pseudo punk pop bands with fake British accents, so why not have an English Americana band?
In addition to making really unique and catchy music, these guys made some cool flash animation videos and a couple of video games to promote their songs. Check them out here and here, then once you realize you’ve got their songs stuck in your head, buy their album here. Old Man Pie!
